Dear Magnet, I'm sorry that when you married me I only had $30 saved up, and that I didn't divulge that I'm not the saver type until after we were married. Wink.
Dear Maggie, I'm sorry that I made your bangs thicker and that they have been three different lengths for a week now because I've officially banned myself from the scissors and haven't had time to take you to a professional.
Dear Sister #1, I'm sorry that for about five years straight I gifted you with pajama bottoms for Christmas and your birthdays. And I'm even sorrier that I thought I was giving you something original every time.
Again, Dear Sister #1, I'm sorry that during one of our ritual wash-our-face-and-brush-our- teeth-together-every-night traditions, I acted on the immature urge to spit on your head that was still bent over the sink brushing. I'm still as baffled as ever about why I did that.
Dear Sister #2, I'm sorry that while I was away at college and working at a Thai restaurant, I called home to tell you that Orlando Bloom came to our restaurant and I got my picture taken with him for you, since he was your big crush. You believed my every word, but I have to tell you, it wasn't really Orlando Bloom, but a guy that kind of looked like him.
Dear Misty, I'm sorry that when you asked me to drop off a gift at Shelleena's house, that I lost my brain and left it in her knocked-down garbage bin to protect it from the rain since she wasn't home.
Dear Shelleena, I'm sorry that you had to go get your gift out of your trash can.
Dear Claire, I'm sorry that in college I made you pretend to be me on the phone and turn down dates for me, and even cough here and there so guys would believe I was sick.
Dear Blog Readers, I'm sorry if you stopped washing your hair because of the three posts I wrote about how I was giving it a shot and that it seemed to be working. I never followed up to say that it didn't work out for me; I'm back to washing my hair every other day. I'm sorry if I talked you into trying it and it didn't work out for you, either!
And Dear Joella (and this happened tonight), I'm sorry that when you mentioned your home birth video, I told you I'd love to see it. I've heard so many wonderful things about it that for a second there I forgot what I was actually asking to watch...awkward!